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ABANDONED

by 52Hz Whale

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  • Full Digital Discography

    20
    releases

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    Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality downloads of Morningstar 96, Venus (EP), INVINCIBILIS, Songs About Sunshine, 52Hz Remixes, ABANDONED, suck (EP + Extras), Untitled (EP), and 12 more. , and , .

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1.
Lee (Pronounced: Bitch) 00:27
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2.
Progenitor 04:59
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Here I am exactly where I was last year If only I had said all of this before Here we are, I've spent my years without you Of course I still care about you I'm dumb enough to cry about you Are you still cold to the touch Are you still dry to the bone Are you still an emboldened cunt Are you still thawing your soul Our time is up, maybe we're better off apart You'll never have to see my faggish face again You'll never have the chance, you'll never have the privelage To tell me you love me ever again Are you still cold to the touch Are you still raw to the bone Are you still an emboldened cunt Are you still thawing your soul Do you care, do you give a shit Do you care, do you give a shit Do you care, do you give a shit, do you care Do you care? Do you even think about me Do you even want to know all the ways you fucking hurt me? Do you care? How is your life without me? If I lost my son, I'd be empty, too Do you fucking care? Do you give a shit about me? Do you want to know anything about me? Do you fucking care? I hope you're fucking miserable I hope you fucking die knowing that I just want you to love me
3.
Unapologetic Anthem 04:33
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I'd say I'm not addicted But the empty bottles say a different tale And this grim grey world turns more pale It's like a deep breath I'd say that I'm not distant But these empty replies say a different tale Get your last look at this lonely whale You can't exhale I want to stay in bed, I want to be alone I want to forget I'm here, I want to stop acting cold I want to get high, I want to get fucked I want to live a lie believing I'm fine It's like a deep breath you can't exhale You think that I'm complacent And my long suffered absent minded bitchy glare Clues you in to how I've grown stale You take a look at my pale arms You hope that you're mistaken You should've counted the pills You should've counted the scars I want to stay in bed, I want to be alone I want to forget I'm here, I want to stop acting cold I want to get high, I want to get fucked I want to live a lie believing I'm fine It's like a deep breath you can't exhale Hold it in forever You should've counted the pills you should've counted the scars I want to stay in bed, I want to be alone I want to forget I'm here, I want to stop acting cold I want to get high, I want to get fucked I want to live a lie believing I'm fine
4.
Scab Picker 04:37
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Staring at you in my phone I've got so much to say but nothing escapes I just sit on my bed and wait Wait for the pills to take my to another place A place where I'm so numb The only thing I feel is my heartbeat The place where you mean nothing A place where I can be safe Safe to let my skin crawl all over me Safe to fly away without your ballast I'll rip my throat out, so I can't scream back Pick that scab into a scar Let me tear you open Bloodlet your heart out Paint it over my skin You know I want to taste your skin I know you want to get within We'll just turn each other inside out Come all over again To a place where I feel so numb The only thing I feel is your mouth I'd find another plane A place where I can be safe Safe to let my skin crawl all over me Safe to fly away without your ballast I'll cut my throat out so I can't scream Pick that scab into a scar Let me tear you open Bloodlet your heart out Paint over my skin Let my skin crawl all over me Let me fucking fly away I'll rip my throat out so I can't scream back
5.
Apostasy 05:18
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So you couldn't stomach the same bullshit The golden pulpit liked to spew So you started your own coven And drank your own witch's brew While you stared and judged and at all your neighbors You're finally holier than thou I can't believe I can't believe I won't believe You wasted your time baptizing me Kept out of a lake of fire You held me down and knew I couldn't swim Held down in a lake of fire You held your guard and watched us nearly drown Kept down in a lake of fire You think you're a fucking saint When you know that your name's Belial The sermon from the top of your mountain Was nothing but the fruit of flies Lead us away from temptation But led us only to lies Only momma can keep you safe boy So you seduced a lamb with butcher's breath You caressed my tired head to sleep you caressed my tired head to sleep I prayed it was just a bad dream but the nightmare ensued I just wanted your shoulder to cry on You just wanted me gone You don't want this pathetic son who doesn't play by your rules You don't want this pretty boy He's supposed to be a rugged man He's not supposed to dress like that He's not supposed to share his bed with men So you cast him away Like a stone to a pond So you cast him away Like a stone in a lake of fire (wish that he'll fucking change) You wasted your time baptizing me Kept out of a lake of fire You held me down and knew I couldn't swim Held down in a lake of fire You held your guard and watched us nearly drown Kept down in a lake of fire You think you're a fucking saint When you know that your name's Belial
6.
Emerson 03:56
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I took your picture off the wall I couldn't stand it being there I thought you'd remain by my side In more than just a face-down picture frame Glimpses caught in videos It's almost like I've seen a ghost I'll find a loose hair while changing clothes I can almost feel your presence near Never thought I'd have to say goodbye Don't know if I ever could And all the things I've done to fill this void You wouldn't love me if you had the choice So I took your picture off the wall I couldn't it In losing you I've lost myself I can see the gate approaching now Tell St. Peter to hold the door As my carcass drips on the floor
7.
Romans 1:26 06:57
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I'm walking off this ungrateful high Could not be stopped by a speeding truck It's easy to rest in misery Why bother to try to be happy? And if there's room to fail Then there's not room for me I don't have room for you Being lost at sea And if I'm alone, no one can stop me From being ripped apart You're all just fucking worthless, and I'm one to talk We're all just waste sitting in our own filth You're all fucking worthless, and I'm one to talk Turn on your brothers for an absent god Those rumors that you dried up inside Forever trapped me inside those crying eyes And I'm still trapped inside those crying eyes I think we're both just dead inside
8.
SOLVE 05:53
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You think I don't know how to feels to be left all alone? You think I don't know how it feels to repair a broken soul? You think I don't know how it feels to have to see you every goddamn day? You think I don't know how it feels to give in and decay? We're just wilting animals, we won't last the night Like lambs to the slaughter, boldly going where we can't come back You ripped us apart, make the pieces separate I won't put them back together Solve without coagulate You think that I don't feel any fucking pain? Each day it may hurt less but it never goes away I couldn't even if it's what I wanted I'm just cursed without moving on The puzzle doesn't fit Solve without coagula I lost my begotten son, too I'll never get him back Never held him in my hand He never stood a chance I want to cave in my own skull with my fucking fists I want to rip out my own jaw and smash it in my eyelids Like lambs to the slaughter boldly going where we can't come back You don't know who I fucking am All you know is fear You ripped us apart, make the pieces separate I won't put it back together Solve without coagulate I couldn't even if it's what I wanted I'm just cursed with moving on The puzzle doesn't fit Solve without coagula You think that I don't feel any fucking pain Each day it may hurt less But it never goes away I couldn't even if it's what I wanted I'm just cursed with moving on The puzzle doesn't fit Solve without coagula I lost my begotten son I'll never get him back Never held him in my hands He never stood a chance
9.
COAGULA 04:34
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Here I am, exactly where I was last year I was a fool for being caught in it again Our time is gone, we're better off apart I never want to see your fucking face again I'll never have the chance, and I don't want to ever hear You tell me you love me ever again So I let my skin crawl all over me And I'll fucking relapse until this bottle is empty I don't care I don't give a shit I don't care I don't give a shit Of course I care My life is hard without you I want to tell you everything about me Of course I care My life is fucking miserable I lost my son, now I'm empty too I don't care about you anymore I would hardly even flinch if you died I don't care, I hope you're fucking miserable I hope you realize you'll never have me back Let it all come together Emotions coagulate I just wanted you to know That I fucking hate you I fucking hate you I fucking hate you I fucking hate you I fucking hate you I fucking hate you I fucking hate you I fucking hate you I fucking hate you
10.
Abandoned (Finale) 06:09
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I hate how she'll never accept who I am I hate how she'll never accept how much she hurt me I hate how much she says I don't even care I hate how hard I tried just to give up I hate how she says that she knows everything about me I hate that I don't I hate how she'll probably never hear this fucking song I hate how she'll never know how I truly feel I hate how she'll never accept who I am I hate how she'll never accept who I am I hate how she'll never accept who I am I hate how she'll never accept who I am Then sings my soul, my savior god to thee How great thou art, how great thou art

about

This album is about a lot; Loss, mourning, abandonment, abuse, religious trauma, and the terrible ways we try to disguise self destruction as healing.

It's a message of sadness to those I've loved and lost and those I've loved and never even had the chance to meet.

It's a message of anger to those who treat others poorly and choose their religion over their neighbors.

It's a cautionary tale of self deceit in the wake of trauma.

Ultimately, it's about trying to let go of these bad feelings and experiences.

"With all the things I've done to fill this void,
You wouldn't love me if you had the choice"

Dedicated to Sondra, AVH, God

In memory of Robert K and Emerson

credits

released September 15, 2021

Artwork: Duncan Graham
Special thanks to Gilbert Gottfried for the message at the beginning

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52Hz Whale Lansing Charter Township, Michigan

52Hz Whale in an Aggropop project spawned from the mind of Garrett Bush.
It is an ode to unsustainable loves and loneliness.

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